Down to Earth

1. Happy Birthday to Me

Air Date: 1984-03-10

Ethel is sent Down to Earth to help the Preston's family, as a maid. Richard is skeptical of hiring her, but she talks him into it, which is something she seems to be very good at. She's is confused in the kitchen, making a mess on her first day. J.J. comes in and helps her out. He asks why she doesn't know this. She can't tell him she's an angel, the words. So she shows him in cherades, and 'snaps' herself into the fridge for proof, and J.J. agrees to keeping it a secret. Richard comes in a little later, and the kitchen is a still disaster, but Ethel's able to calm him down and keep her job. The family is in complete chaos, as has been the usual since Margret, Richard's wife, died. Ethel has just enough time to clean up before eveyone goes to bed. She sits alone in her room and celebrates it alone.

2. Make Mine Murder

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Ethel mistakenly thinks Richard is trying to kill Lissy.

3. Back to Basics

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When the Prestons are stuck inside due to bad weather, Ethel comes up with games to have fun.

4. Food For Thought

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When Ethel has to order groceries on the home computer, she accidentally orders ten of everything and must hide the mountain of groceries from the family.

5. Everything Old is New Again

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When Richard brings a client home for dinner, Ethel realizes that she was the man's housekeeper when he was a little boy in the 1920's. To complicate matters, Lissy needs a chaperone for her school's 1920's-theme dance, and Alistair agrees to chaperone... with Ethel as his date. Ethel starts having genuine feelings for Alistair, so Mr. Divine intervenes and tells her that she must break it off.

6. A View From Above

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Duane is recklessly charging expensive things on the credit card in preparation for the school formal -- a formal that Lissy is protesting because the girls aren't allowed to wear pants. Jay Jay ignores Ethel's wishes and Richard won't get off of the telephone. Ethel thinks that the Prestons would be better off if she quit, so Mr. Divine lets her peek 30 years into the future and see what the Prestons' fate would be without her in this take on ""It's a Wonderful Life.""

7. Duane For President

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Duane becomes a megalomaniac when he runs for class president.

8. Aunt Roz

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Rivalry develops between Ethel and Aunt Roz, Richard's flamboyant, world-traveling sister, as they vie for the children's attention. Soon Ethel finds that ""Duane is applying for a passport, Lissy is running around half naked, Jay Jay is full of bon-bons"" and Auntie Roz is planning to stay for good.

9. For Better, For Worse

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When Richard spends the morning being a general crab, Ethel suggests that he needs to make changes in his life and go out and date. So when Richard arrives home with a smile on his face and announces that he's in love with someone he sees every day, Ethel thinks Richard has fallen in love with her. Further complications ensue when the entire family makes preparations for Cousin Delia's wedding, which Ethel knows nothing about.

10. Romance and Real Estate

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After being rear-ended by Polly Sue Pickwood, Richard invites her home for dinner, unaware that she's a business competitor's spy. Meanwhile, Lissy stages a protest against sexism in her school.

11. Rejuvenation of Richard

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Richard thinks he is getting old, so Ethel hatches an outrageous exercise and diet scheme that convinces him to stop worrying about it.

12. Practical Jokes

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Richard has to go out of town, so he reluctantly leaves Duane as the man of the house. After Duane traps Lissy on her inversion table, a practical joke war between the siblings ensues... Meanwhile, Ethel has to leave to take her Angel Progress Examination. Things go awry when a burglar shows up at the Preston home and the kids assume it's just another practical joke.

13. Selling the House

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Duane accidentally breaks a vase while playing football in the house. Richard sees that his son's attempting to make money, so he invites him to come to work at Preston Reality. But a misunderstanding leads to Duane selling the family's house. So it's up to Ethel and Mr. Divine to prove to the buyers that their dream home is really haunted.

1. Heaven Can Wait

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When Ethel's assignment to the Preston family is deemed a success, she is ordered back to heaven -- until she convinces her superior angel otherwise.

2. The Kazinsky Krunch

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Ethel rebuilds the confidence of a professional wrestler through a practice match with Richard.

3. Gone With The Wind

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Ethel is forced to hire Phil, Mr. Luster's lazy brother-in-law, as a handyman.

4. The Buck Stops Here

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When Duane runs up his credit card bill, he must take a job as a breakdancing chicken to pay it off.

5. The Ball's In Your Court

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Richard impersonates an art critic in order to discourage their new neighbor Candy's enthusiasm for garbage art.

6. In Praise of Older Women

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Lissy finds a boyfriend, but Richard is suspicious of 17 year-old Karl's intentions, so he sends Duane on a double date with his sister (and he also follows them). But the plot thickens when Karl comes on to Ethel, so Ethel enlists Candy's help to turn the tables on Karl.

7. Jay Jay's Dream

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Jay Jay's been having nightmares that there's a monster in his toybox. After several sleepless nights, J.J. misses his science test, dashing Richard's dreams of his son becoming ""a world famous scientist."" After seeking some (useless) advice from Mr. Lester, Ethel joins J.J. in his dream and forces him to confront the monster -- which isn't quite as scary as J.J. initially thought.

8. Uncle Roscoe's Watch

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Deceased Uncle Roscoe's pocketwatch arrives in the mail with instructions that it's to be given to his ""favorite grand-nephew."" Richard can't decide whether to give it to Duane or Jay Jay, so he leaves the decision up to Ethel -- who holds a seance to contact Uncle Roscoe.

9. Luster Gets Stuck

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10. Ethel's Memory Loss

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11. The Bully

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Jay Jay's dealing with an unruly bully at school, so Ethel teaches him kung-fu. But J.J. gets full of himself and begins bullying the bully -- until he's put in his place by Candy's neice. Meanwhile, Duane teaches Lissy a ""method"" for winning over the boy she wants to date.

12. The Quiz Show

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13. A Valentine for Valentino

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1. The Russian Defector

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Lizzy invites Illyitch, a russian foreign exchange student, over to the Preston's. Duane isn't happy about having a communist in the house. Illyitch enters, accompanied by Krankov, a bodyguard/high-diplomat, who shortly leaves. Ethel is exposed for knowing to speak Russian. Illyitch likes Lizzy, and vice-versa. They look at pictures together, and he's quite in the prom pictures. Illyitch lets the family know he wants to defect in a game of cherades. Not wanting to create an international incident, got on the phone, and put on hold. Krankov returns and just before the door opens, Ethel ""snaps"" Illyitch into the kitchen. They stall and try not to give themselves away. Illyitch talks about being home-sick, and Lizzy explains defecting to him, and doesn't want to leave his country forever, just for an extra week to go to prom. They tell this to Krankov and he says no, but Ethel convinces him. They go to prom, and Illyitch looks so happy.

2. Eskimo Shoes

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Richard has a new product for his mail-order catalog to do, and has to test it. It's eskimo shoes that are supposed to keep your feet warm, but it being August and 90 degrees, how would they test it? Lizzy and Duane had parties to go on Saturday, the day he wanted to test them, and they said they'd go if he would take them somewhere cold enough to test them. Ethel talked with the butcher and he said they could use their meat locker on Saturday after they closed. She announced it and the teens are upset when it sticks to what they said, but do it. Duane slams the door, and it jammed shut. They tried several different things, but nothing worked. They all got a little closer while inside, then finally Ehtel 'snapped' out and let them all out, while putting her clothes on a piece of meat and J.J. distracted them. They were all happy to go.

3. Art or Bust

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4. Epidemic

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5. Obsolete Ethel

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6. Name, Rank and Social Security Number

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7. Duane's Car

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It's Duane's 17th birthday, and he expects a car. But the car that he recieves is not the one he anticipated -- a 1955 Ford, complete with a ghost of the previous owner. In order for the ghost to dissipate, Duane must sincerly thank his father for the car... which isn't an easy task, considering the fact that Duane hates his gift.

8. House Arrest

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9. Lost and Found

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10. The Radio Show

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11. Future Shock

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After taking a hit on the head (from Ethel's protest sign), Lissy is able to tell the future -- and the future looks bright for nearly everyone. Richard's rapid-growth fertilizer grows a tree overnight; Jay Jay gets the winning hit in a ball game and Candy gets out of a traffic ticket. But then there's Duane, who has a blind date with a model... a date that Lissy becomes convinced will be a total disaster.

12. Remember When

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13. The Lissy Caper

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14. Luster/Jake Special

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15. Romeo and Juliet

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16. A Star is Born

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17. Trading Places

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1. Real Candy

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2. A Touch of Ethel

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3. Play It Again, Ethel

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4. Taking Stock

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5. Frozen Rope

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Lissy's become a reporter with the school newspaper, but she lacks a good story. When Duane announces that he has to climb the rope in gym class but he's afraid of heights, Lissy turns him into the laughing stock of the school.

6. Hypnotic Ethel

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7. Angelbusters

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8. Chucky Chipmunk

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9. The Dentist Show

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Jay Jay has a appointment with a children's dentist, and Ethel pulls strings with the new receptionist (namely Candy) to get Richard in to fix a tooth that's killing him. Richard quickly flakes on the appointment, but finds himself back in the dentist's chair (er.. dentist's hobby horse). Meanwhile, Lissy and Duane try out for the debate team.

10. Knight in Heavenly Armor

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11. Money, Money

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12. The Dummy Show

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13. He Ain't Bozo, He's My Brother

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14. Duane's Dilemma

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15. Lusterado

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16. The Burro

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When Lissy has a celebration for her Guatemalan foster child's birthday, Jay Jay decides that he wants to ""adopt"" an orphan too. Adoption, however, is more literal in Jay Jay's case... a donkey soon arrives at the door. As if a jackass in the house isn't bad enough, Richard is allergic to animals.

17. The Bag Lady

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Jay Jay brings home what Ethel expects to be his girlfriend, but the whole family is in for a shock when he arrives with a bag lady. Instantly, the Preston's fall in love with Grace and ask her to stay -- but Ethel is suspicious because Grace asks too many questions about her. Turns out Grace is also an angel (with the CIA -- Central Intelligence of Angels) who's investigating Ethel.

18. Easy Rider

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Duane agrees to a blind date with Candy's recently-dumped sister, Taffee, unaware that she's a biker chick. The date seems disastrous until the goodnight kiss. Duane soon dons leather and is head-over-heels in love with Taffee -- until her ex, Rocco, gets wind of the situation and decides to break Duane's face.

19. Rear Window

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20. Scenes From A Marriage

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21. Perfect Match

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Richard agrees to use a computer dating service, if Ethel does too, and he wounds up being matched with an old girlfriend. Ethel's perfect match winds up being mysterious -- namely because it's Jake.

22. Goodness Flakes

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23. Lissy's Mother

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24. Christmas Story

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Ethel's earned her wings, but she skips out on the festivities to be with her family. Jay Jay is convinced that Santa's real, so he waits up to meet him. Richard tries to trick the local videostore out of their copy of ""It's a Wonderful Life;"" Lissy reveals that she can't sing.

1. The Inferior Decorator

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2. Duane Takes A Wife

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3. Stewed Ethel

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4. The Russians Are...Here

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5. The Big Freeze

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6. Sixteen Candles

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7. Billie Jean is Not My Sitter

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8. Angel Flu

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9. Wish I May, Wish I Might

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10. One Flew Over the Prestons' Nest

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11. Amelia Earhart's Diary

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12. Bird of Paradise

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13. Comet Night Fever

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1. Peter Doesn't Live Here Anymore

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2. Rich Man, Poor Man

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3. Duane's Basic Training

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4. Princess Lissy

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5. Rites of Passage

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6. Comically Yours

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7. Mama the Matchmaker

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8. Saving Face

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9. Requiem for A Paperweight

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10. Caught in the Act

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11. Cindy's Fella

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12. Double Trouble

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13. Duane Moves Out

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1. Lissy's Secret Garden

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2. Angel of the Year

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3. Candy Gets a Job

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4. Educating Ethel

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5. As Lovely as a Tree

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6. Cruise I

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7. Cruise II

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8. Starrstruck

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9. Mama In Love

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10. I Love Lissy

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11. Invitation to the Dance

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12. Old With the Old

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13. Jay Jay's Birthday

Air Date: 2006-01-01