Honest Ads

1. If Condom Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2012-09-27

"It's a bag for your dick."

2. If White House Press Briefings Were Honest

Air Date: 2013-09-06

The Obama administration announces a bold new media strategy. Make sure you watch the end of the video for a special message from Abe.

3. If Bullies Were Honest

Air Date: 2014-08-29

'If you have any questions, ask someone else. I'm the town bully.'

1. If Jewelry Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2015-02-13

2. If Viagra Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2015-06-08

3. If Fast Food Commercials Were Honest (McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, Taco Bell)

Air Date: 2015-06-29

Turns out the only thing grosser than the food at McDonald's, Taco Bell, Wendy's and Burger King is how the commercials are made.

4. If Sports Drink Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2015-07-13

You might as well just eat dyed sugar. It's probably healthier.

5. If Car Commercials Were Honest (BMW Ford Toyota Chevrolet Parody)

Air Date: 2015-08-10

Although there's still not enough gold jewelry.

6. Why Marriage is a Scam

Air Date: 2015-10-05

Can you really put a price on love? The answer is, yes, of course you can.

7. If People Who Sell Stuff Were Honest About Black Friday

Air Date: 2015-11-23

Black Friday: The day invented by people who sell things to lure the people who buy things away from their families on one of the only nationally recognized holiday weekends on the calendar.

8. The Bizarre Unspoken Truth About Pet Ownership

Air Date: 2015-11-30

Thanks to centuries of forced inbreeding and genetic tampering, you too can own docile versions of once dangerous animals.

9. Why Presidential Debates Can't Be Honest

Air Date: 2015-12-16

It's the magical time of year when debates coming rolling in way before they're really necessary, and are loaded with a bunch of people you'll absolutely forget.

1. If Gyms Were Honest

Air Date: 2016-01-04

Gyms: They're the only way you can get fit, aside from all the other ways, and the only place you can get juice, aside from lots of others.

2. If Soda Commercials Were Honest (Coca-cola, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper Parody)

Air Date: 2016-02-01

If it's hot out and you're in dire need of refreshment, just grab yourself an ice cold bottle of candy.

3. If Make-Up Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2016-03-21

It's all about making money by destroying society's already low self-esteem.

4. If Video Game Commercials Were Honest (Playstation X-Box Gamer Video Games Parody)

Air Date: 2016-04-25

Because if anyone needs real talk, it's gamers.

5. When Mobile Providers Are Actually Honest (Verizon, AT&T, Sprint, T-mobile parody)

Air Date: 2016-06-06

Enough with the maps! We don't even understand their meanings anyway.

6. If Coffee Commercials Were Honest (Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Folgers Parody)

Air Date: 2016-07-04

Only good marketing could get the entire world addicted to black liquid that raises blood pressure and increases stress.

7. If Birth Control Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2016-08-01

When are guys going to have to start enduring the rigors of birth control?

8. If Drug Companies Were Honest

Air Date: 2016-09-05

Let's just go back to blood-letting and bile drinking already.

9. If Antidepressant Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2016-10-03

They SHOULD tell you, but don't because it's hard to market nightmares.

10. If The Meat Industry Was Honest

Air Date: 2016-10-24

If you like hamburgers, maybe don't watch this video.

11. If Energy Drink Ads Were Honest (Monster, Red Bull, Gatorade Parody)

Air Date: 2016-11-11

Energy drinks are just like drugs except with cooler colors.

12. If Airlines Were Honest (United, Delta, Southwest, American Airlines Parody)

Air Date: 2016-11-18

Airlines: Bending you over for the pleasure of soaring 39,000 feet above the earth in a fart-filled tube.

13. If The Lottery Was Honest

Air Date: 2016-12-16

The lottery is a great investment of your hard earned money, but only if you win.

14. If Hotel Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2016-12-23

Maybe don't watch this while sitting in your hotel room.

1. If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest

Air Date: 2017-01-02

Before you try to fast-track that weight loss resolution.

2. If Toothpaste Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-01-20

Brushing your teeth is overrated anyway.

3. If Purse Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-02-10

All purses inevitably end up being overpriced, tiny trashcans.

4. If Children's Cereal Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-02-28

Look, Cocoa Puffs are totally the bomb, but maybe eating the entire box in one day isn't such a great thing.

5. If Grocery Store Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-03-17

Grocery stores are better at screwing with your head than they are keeping their shelves stocked.

6. If High School and College Textbooks Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-04-03

They say history is written by the victors, but it's actually written by publishers and politicians who all have agendas to push on high school and college kids. Hooray for public education and terrible textbooks!

7. Why Credit Cards Are A Scam

Air Date: 2017-04-26

If you've ever wanted to know what it's like to sell your soul and never get it back, just open up a credit card.

8. If Superstore Ads Were Honest (Target, Walmart Parody)

Air Date: 2017-05-01

Sure, you can buy two 20-gallon drums of mayonnaise for the price of one at your local Superstore, like the crazy person you are. But at what cost to your local community?

9. If Smart Watch Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-05-17

Thanks to Apple and Fitbit Smart Watches are a great way to keep us honest and track data you couldn't before - because you actually didn't care about tracking it and probably still won't.

10. If Theme Parks Were Honest (Disneyland, Six Flags Parody)

Air Date: 2017-05-22

Theme parks, especially Disneyland, Disney World, and Six Flags are great if you enjoy being mentally (and financially) screwed with while you navigate a maze of barf, torture machines, and fried food.

11. If Mobile Games Were Honest (Android, iOS Parody)

Air Date: 2017-06-12

Want the best android and ios mobile games? Great! Just so we're all clear here when it comes to mobile games, 'freemium' means 'free until its time to steal your parents' credit cards so you can buy your way to the end of the game that never ends.' Now available on your favorite iPads and Android Tablets!

12. If Milk Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-07-03

Milk, dairy, cheese and lactose commercials are great and all but no one's ever actually looked into how much our consumption of mammal udder juice contributes to growing up big and strong, but we just roll with it anyway.

13. If Junk Food Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2017-07-17

Now that we're starting to get this whole cigarette thing under control, can we take care of the junk food companies that are getting all of us addicted to chips, candy, and crackers? We just wish everyone would be more honest about snack foods.

14. If Music Festivals Were Honest (Bonnaroo, Coachella, Lollapalooza Parody)

Air Date: 2017-08-07

Bonnaroo, Coachella, Lollapalooza, Summerfest and other famous music festivals look cool on your friend's Instagram feed but let's be honest, they suck.

15. If Student Loans Were Honest (College Debt)

Air Date: 2017-08-21

College is going to be one of the biggest investments of your life, which is why you should just trust what the student loan companies tell you without even thinking twice about how much you could be screwed after school has ended.

16. If Professional Football Were Honest (NFL, Cheerleaders, Concussions)

Air Date: 2017-09-05

Who else is excited for another season of the world's most popular public slaughter house fueled by human lives? Oh ... just us in America?

17. If Cell Phone Commercials Were Honest (iPhone, Android)

Air Date: 2017-10-09

Now that our lives are pretty much inseparable from our smart devices, it would only be the honest and responsible thing for Apple to do to jack up the price on their super fragile phones.

18. If Juice Cleanse Ads Were Honest (Detox, Master Cleanse)

Air Date: 2017-11-06

Feeling bloated and need to detox? Well, drinking salad in liquid form will absolutely not help you at all, but boy will you feel Hashtag-virtuous when you share pictures of yourself with our beautiful juice cleanse bottles all across social media. Enjoy the rejuvenating experience of borderline starvation!

19. If Tampon Ads Were Honest (Also Maxi Pads & Other "Feminine Products")

Air Date: 2017-12-04

Not that we want tampon ads to get all into the graphic details of what their products actually do. But seriously, what’s with all the yoga and blue fluids?

1. If Recycling Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-07-28

Roger Horton returns for the first time since 2017 to explain why recycling is pointless and, even worse – basically just one big scam.

2. If Megachurches Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-08-11

There's nothing quite like claiming your tax-free, multi-million dollar enterprise is inspired by an intentionally homeless, apolitical, friend of prostitutes who told religious leaders to pay their dang taxes.

3. If Dentists Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-09-08

If dentists were honest, nobody would ever go to the dentist. And, honestly, we'd probably be fine.

4. If Cryptocurrency Was Honest

Air Date: 2021-10-06

Everybody is familiar with money, but thanks to cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Dogecoin, Ethereum, Stellar, and Binance we can now exchange those boring green presidential napkins for sexy computer cash that’s easier to lose, far more volatile, slaughters the environment, and can’t be exchanged for the vast majority of goods and services! Honest!

5. If Hard Seltzer Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-10-20

White Claw Summer is out, and Horton's Hard Poison Fizzy Summer is IN.

6. If Dating Apps Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-11-10

What would happen if dating apps like Tinder, Match.com, Bumble and others were actually honest? They'd sound kinda like this.

7. If Crowdfunding Sites Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-12-01

What would happen if crowdfunding sites like Kickstarter, GoFundMe, Indiegogo and others were actually honest? They probably wouldn't raise any funds at all.

8. If Smart TV Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-12-10

If we were Honest about smart televisions, we probably wouldn't actually want featherweight FBI surveillance vans spying on us in our living room.

9. If Tax Prep Sites Were Honest

Air Date: 2021-12-17

If tax prep sites were honest about why taxes suck so much, we'd probably burn the whole thing down.

1. If NFTs Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-02-04

What if NFT collections like Bored Ape Yacht Club, Azuki, CloneX, and other such stupid crap were actually honest about what they were?

2. If Internet Service Providers Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-02-18

What if Internet Service Providers like Centurylink, Comcast, and Cox were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

3. If Toilet Paper Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-03-11

What if toilet paper brands like Charmin, Cottonelle, Caboo were actually honest about that stuff we rub on our butt to rub other stuff off our butts? Roger Horton investigates... in ONE TAKE.

4. If Wine Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-03-22

What if Wine Companies (vineyards?) were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

5. If Insurance Companies Were Honest | Cracked Throwback

Air Date: 2022-03-31

Insurance people are really just the superheroes of bending us over for the pleasure of paying them to do the bare minimum. Originally Posted In 2015

6. If Chocolate Ads Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-04-12

What if chocolate companies like Hershey's, Nestle, Mars, and others were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

7. If Gaming Gear Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-04-26

What if Gaming Gear companies like SecretLab, Razer, Logitech, Alienware and others were actually honest about what they're ACTUALLY selling?

8. If Social Media Were Honest (Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok)

Air Date: 2022-07-08

What if social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok were actually honest about how destructive and terrible they are? Well, everybody at Cracked might not have been fired for one.

9. Why You'll Never Buy A House

Air Date: 2022-07-29

What if Real Estate Companies and Realtors were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

10. If Streaming Services Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-08-05

What if streaming services like HBOMax, Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, and others were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

11. If Mattress Commercials Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-08-26

What if mattress companies like Purple, Casper, Nectar, and all the others were actually honest about how destructive and terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

12. If Virtual Reality Was Honest

Air Date: 2022-10-04

What if Virtual Reality companies like Meta and Oculus were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates alongside help from our friends at @TheWarpZone! Check out their channel!

13. If Jobs Were Honest

Air Date: 2022-12-22

What if jobs and employers were honest about the kind of work you'll be doing? Roger Horton investigates.

1. If Healthcare Was Honest

Air Date: 2023-01-06

What if hospitals and health insurance companies like UnitedHealth Group, Anthem, Aetna, Cigna, Humana, and others were actually honest about how horrifically terrible they are? Roger Horton investigates.

2. If Comic Book Movies Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-01-27

What if Marvel and DC and everybody else were honest about how they make their dumb comic book movies? Roger Horton investigates.

3. If Podcasts Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-03-31

What if podcasters were honest about the content they were making?

4. If Cruises Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-04-18

What if cruises were honest about your floating vacation?

5. Welcome to Honest Ads promo

Air Date: 2023-06-02

All Roger, all in one place.

6. If Bars Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-06-09

What if were your neighborhood bar was honest?

7. If Dispensaries Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-06-16

What if were your neighborhood dispensary was honest?

8. If Movie Theatres Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-06-23

What if were your local movie theatre was honest?

9. If Perfume Commercials Were Honest (Perfume Ad Parody)

Air Date: 2023-06-30

What if fragrance ads were honest?

10. If Casinos Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-07-09

What if casinos commercials were honest? Well, here at Horton’s Palace, we are.

11. If Landlords Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-07-16

Roger is your landlord now, and he's getting real honest about things.

12. If Divorce Lawyers Were Honest (Divorce Lawyer Commercial Parody)

Air Date: 2023-07-23

Looking for divorce lawyers? Hire Roger Horton For All Your Divorce Needs. Call 1-800-Actual-Lawyer Today.

13. If Live Streamers Were Honest (Twitch Stream Parody)

Air Date: 2023-07-30

Live Streamers Rise up! What's up Rogheads, the stream's about to start.

14. If Plastic Surgeons Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-08-06

How do you know if you can trust your plastic surgeon? At Dr. Roger's Dysmorphia Exacerbation Clinic, We've been Making The World Hotter Since 2012

15. If Vitamin Shops Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-08-20

Will Vitamin Shops Really get you swole? Your Swole At Horton's Holistic Vita-World

16. If Bachelor Parties Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-08-27

It's Bachelor Party Season! Horton's Concerningly Horny Stag Party Planning has you covered for all your bachelor and bachelorette party needs.

17. If The Cemetery Industry Was Honest

Air Date: 2023-09-03

The Cemetery Industry Makes Dying Even Spookier than it already is. So THIS is what happens to your body after you die

18. If Nonprofits Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-09-17

What if nonprofits were honest about what they're up to?

19. If Skincare Was Honest

Air Date: 2023-09-24

Skincare, It's all about making money by destroying society's already low self-esteem.

20. If Organic Food Was Honest

Air Date: 2023-10-08

If organic food farms were honest, here's what they'd tell you about "eating clean"

21. If Frats and Sororities Were Honest (College Greek Life Parody)

Air Date: 2023-10-15

College is going to be one of the biggest investments of your life, so why not spend a little extra buying a bunch of friends by joining a frat or sorority?

22. If Job Searching Were Honest (LinkedIn, ZipRecruiter, Indeed Parody)

Air Date: 2023-10-29

What if the job market was honest about the job search process?

23. If Rideshare Apps Were Honest (Uber, Lyft Parody)

Air Date: 2023-11-05

If Rideshare Apps Were Honest, here's what they'd say.

24. If Amazon Were Honest (Amazon Parody)

Air Date: 2023-11-12

If Online Shopping Were Honest, here's what they'd say.

25. If Government Tourism Ads Were Honest (Local Tourism Board Parody)

Air Date: 2023-11-19

If Local Tourism Ads were honest, here's what they'd say.

26. Leonardo DaVinci Had No Idea How Men's Junk Worked

Air Date: 2023-11-26

As it turns out, Leonardo DaVinci didn't know anything about men's anatomy, despite depicting it in art like, a lot.

27. If Electric Cars Were Honest (Tesla EV Parody)

Air Date: 2023-12-03

If electric car commercials were honest, here's how they'd sound.

28. If Holiday Movies Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-12-10

What if Hollywood were honest about how they make their dumb holiday Rom-com movies? Roger Horton investigates.

29. The 12 Days Of Rogemas | Happy Holidays from Honest Ads

Air Date: 2023-12-17

Happy Holidays from Honest Ads!

30. If Thirst Tweets Were Honest (Twitter, Buzzfeed)

Air Date: 2023-12-24

Honest Ads is on hiatus, but please enjoy this bonus content of Roger Reading some extremely honest thirst tweets about him.

31. If 2023 Were Honest

Air Date: 2023-12-31

Happy New Year from Roger and the Cracked team! See you in 2024.

1. If AirBnB Was Honest

Air Date: 2024-01-07

What if homeshare tech companies like AirBnB were actually honest about how terrible they are?

2. If The News Were Honest

Air Date: 2024-01-14

If your local news was honest, here's what they'd say, according to Roger Horton

3. If Roger Horton Auditioned for Shark Tank (Vote for your favorite new product!)

Air Date: 2024-01-21

Never-before-seen footage of Roger Horton auditioning to be on Shark Tank by pitching new Horton product lines. Vote on your favorite new product in the comments and we'll make an Honest Ads episode from the winner in the future!

4. If The Superbowl Were Honest (Superbowl Commercials, NFL Sponsors, chiefs)

Air Date: 2024-02-11

Who else is excited for the next annual Big Game, featuring the world's most popular public slaughter house fueled by human lives? Oh ... just us in America?

5. If Online Therapy Was Honest [Better Help Parody]

Air Date: 2024-02-18

What if mental health apps were honest about how bogus they are?