Car 54, Where Are You?
Patrolmen Toody and Muldoon are at the wheel, which means Car 54 could be anywhere!
The misadventures of two of New York's finest in the 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Toody, the short, stocky and dim-witted one, either saves the day or messes things up, much to the chagrin of Muldoon, the tall, lanky and smart one.
Seasons
1. Who's for Swordfish?
Air Date: 1961-09-17
In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?
2. Something Nice for Sol
Air Date: 1961-09-24
Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings. Abrams' sore feet confine him to desk work, so he worries that it'll be 25 and out, if the brass find out how bad the precinct's sweetheart's hurting.
3. Home Sweet Sing Sing
Air Date: 1961-10-01
The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.
4. Change Your Partner
Air Date: 1961-10-08
Toody and Muldoon's 9 blissful years as partners stun a researcher who finds the average prowl car pair last only 16 months before screaming to be switched. If the NYPD management engineer can discover their secret and replicate it, that'll save the blue brass many headaches. But Gunther and Francis' precinct mates don't want to know what actually goes on in Car 54, or even worse: can New York's finest clone empty-headed chatterbox Toody and somber, cerebral Muldoon ?
5. I Won't Go
Air Date: 1961-10-15
Introducing Mrs. Bronson, the sweet Jewish grandmother confounding the boys at the 53rd as well as New York City's bureaucracy.
6. Muldoon's Star
Air Date: 1961-10-22
Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.
7. The Paint Job
Air Date: 1961-10-29
A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved car 54. When it's damaged by a pulled-over driver, they take it to the same repair shop.
8. Love Finds Muldoon
Air Date: 1961-11-05
Lucille plays matchmaker for Francis.
9. The Gypsy Curse
Air Date: 1961-11-12
The boys are told to shut down a gypsy ripoff artist, and when they do, the gypsy puts a curse on Toody.
10. Thirty Days Notice
Air Date: 1961-11-19
Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.
11. Catch Me on the Paar Show
Air Date: 1961-11-26
After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.
12. The Taming of Lucille
Air Date: 1961-12-03
Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."
13. Put It in the Bank
Air Date: 1961-12-10
The 53rd Precinct's Brotherhood Club's newly elected treasurer Gunther Toody is determined to invest their hard-earned $800 in the stock market despite the protests of his fiscally conservative colleagues.
14. Get Well, Officer Schnauser
Air Date: 1961-12-17
While Schnauser is laid up in the hospital, Toody is tapped by the FBI to go undercover to help them nab notorious bank robber "No Face."
15. Christmas at the 53rd
Air Date: 1961-12-24
The boys from the 53rd put on a Christmas review. Two Gilbert & Sullivan parodies featuring Capt. Block & Muldoon, a heart-tugging song from Toody, and other sketches.
16. The Sacrifice
Air Date: 1962-01-07
Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.
17. Boom, Boom, Boom
Air Date: 1962-01-14
The boys are attempting to win the barbershop quartet competition for "the old man" Capt. Block. The rules require all 163 quartets to perform the same song, which drives poor Jan Murray to insanity.
18. Toody & Muldoon Crack Down
Air Date: 1962-01-21
After the police chief drives through Toody & Muldoon's sector, he's so angered by the scores of violations he sees he orders an investigation - with surprising results.
19. Toody's Paradise
Air Date: 1962-01-28
Toody is on an undercover detail in Brooklyn with a female cop as his wife and a small boy as his child. When Lucille's sister spots him there, the rumors start flying wildly.
20. How High Is Up?
Air Date: 1962-02-04
Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.
21. Toody and the Art World
Air Date: 1962-02-11
Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.
22. What Happened to Thursday?
Air Date: 1962-02-18
The 53rd is embarrassed by the domestic dispute calls that come every Thursday night - from the Schnausers. Toody convinces Leo (along w/the rest of the boys) that Thursday's actually Friday leading to expected hilarious confusion.
23. How Smart Can You Get?
Air Date: 1962-02-25
The smartest rookie cop is assigned to ride w/chatty Toody & reticent Muldoon. Can Car 54 survive, now that Muldoon has stimulating conversation?
24. Today I Am a Man
Air Date: 1962-03-04
Tired of being stereotyped as a mama's boy, Muldoon feigns having a hot date at "the hottest club in the Bronx". When his bluff is called by doubting coworkers, he quickly commandeers a puritan family who gets the wrong impression from his weapon!
25. No More Pickpockets
Air Date: 1962-03-11
The boys go under cover at Yankee Stadium to stem the onslaught of pickpockets. One skilled pilferer turns the tide on Toody; who ends up arrested?
26. The Beast Who Walked the Bronx
Air Date: 1962-03-18
Burkholtz, relegated to the Lost & Found for 15 years due to his extreme laxity is the only choice to sub for Capt. Block on his forced two week vacation. The boys mistake his absence from active duty thinking it's because he was too tough!
27. The Courtship of Sylvia Schnauser
Air Date: 1962-03-25
Leo and Sylvia Schnauser decide to renew their vows with a large wedding ceremony.
28. The Auction
Air Date: 1962-04-01
The boys of the 53rd Precinct pull together to buy Captain Block the matching Aleutian Ceremonial Chair he desires to complete his set.
29. Quiet! We're Thinking
Air Date: 1962-04-08
Gunther and Lucille's 11-year-old nephew Marvin, in the Big Apple for a Boy Scout event, helps Toody and Muldoon crack the cases that have flummoxed New York's Finest.
30. I Love Lucille
Air Date: 1962-04-22
Lucille dyes her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.
1. Hail to the Chief
Air Date: 1962-09-16
Because their partnership has lasted so long, the secret service choose Toody and Muldoon to drive the president to the U.N. Unfortunately, Muldoon is incapacitated by the stress of ferrying his hero, Kennedy.
2. One Sleepy People
Air Date: 1962-09-23
Francis and Lucille get the wrong idea, while watching a steamy movie on TV, that each loves the other.
3. A Man Is Not an Ox
Air Date: 1962-09-30
When a medical doctor sees similarities between two oxen yoked together for 10 years and Car 54's occupants, the boys try to behave out-of-sync, but fail.
4. Schnauser's Last Ride
Air Date: 1962-10-07
The boys recount what happened when Schnauser was taken off his mounted police route.
5. Toody & Muldoon Sing Along with Mitch
Air Date: 1962-10-14
When the 53rd precinct Whippoorwills audition for Mitch Miller, it's clear which of the 4 is the problem, but who will tell Toody?
6. Occupancy, August 1st
Air Date: 1962-10-21
Mrs. Bronson causes trouble again -- by moving in to her promised apartment on the day it was promised to her -- but it's not finished! Once again she's adept at deflecting all opponents.
7. Remember St. Petersburg
Air Date: 1962-10-28
A fortune-telling scam ring mistakes Leo as royalty, and calls Sylvia with the news. Another mistake has the con artists convincing an undercover Toody that he's royalty, and Leo's his brother.
8. That's Show Business
Air Date: 1962-11-04
Muldoon's sister Peggy lands a part in the play "Waiting for Wednesday" and the boys of the 53rd Precinct become financial backers before learning that it's a gritty play about police brutality.
9. Toody Undercover
Air Date: 1962-11-11
Toody winds up undercover as part of a mob ring. His intimate knowledge of the area (bank layouts, burglar alarms & patrolmen habits) makes him a better crook than cop.
10. I Hate Captain Block
Air Date: 1962-11-18
When Toody takes care of Captain Block's parrot, he decides to teach it to talk. But this backfires when he says he hates Captain Block in front of the bird, and the parrot begins repeating it.
11. A Star Is Born in the Bronx
Air Date: 1962-11-25
Sylvia Schnauser goes into delusional rapture when asked to plug cookies on television.
12. Pretzel Mary
Air Date: 1962-12-02
The boys finally bust a nasty nuisance in the Park - "Pretzel Mary". When they see her deplorable living conditions they replace her furniture - not realizing what they're taking away.
13. 142 Tickets on the Aisle
Air Date: 1962-12-09
When the boys of the 53rd Precinct suddenly show an interest in the clean and uplifting Broadway epic "Little Miss Pioneer," so does the prurient public.
14. Stop Thief
Air Date: 1963-12-16
After overhearing the Captain rehearsing a play in his office, the boys think he's a kleptomaniac! They "cover" for him by re-stealing all his Xmas presents. Can they make things right by the end of Christmas Eve?
15. Je T'Adore Muldoon
Air Date: 1962-12-30
To get girl-shy Francis to ask the Captain's niece to the Mardi Gras Ball, the 53rd conspires to boost his ego. Suddenly, he's a Casanova! Who will go to the Ball?
16. The White Elephant
Air Date: 1963-01-06
A gang buys the cursed eatery next to the bank to drill through the common wall into the vault -- but the boys of the 53rd stop by to see how they're doing, and help them establish a luncheonette instead.
17. Benny the Bookie's Last Chance
Air Date: 1963-01-13
Benny's up for parole yet again, and the boys are sure he's going straight now. They set him up w/a candy store, and when he gets "in trouble" and tries mightily to get back in jail, the 53rd won't hear of it
18. The Presidential Itch
Air Date: 1963-01-20
An unexpected challenger vies to unseat Muldoon in his bid to be reelected as president of the policeman's Brotherhood Club.
19. Toody & Muldoon Meet the Russians
Air Date: 1963-01-27
The boys chaperon two Russian ambassadors, and turn them into American capitalists.
20. Here We Go Again
Air Date: 1963-02-03
Muldoon's father, Patrick was a police captain and a hero -- or was he?
21. The Star Boarder
Air Date: 1963-02-10
Gunther and Lucille Toody are trying to make some extra money. They decide to rent a room,taking in a preacher as a paying boarder. He seems as honest as the day is long but is he actually who he says he is?
22. The Biggest Day of the Year
Air Date: 1963-02-17
After Tooday tells Muldoon that "today's a very important day",Muldoon,the men & high ranking officials,try to figure out why it is.
23. Here Comes Charlie
Air Date: 1963-02-24
The boys of the 53rd Precinct attempt to help rehabilitate chronically drunk Charlie by finding him a job where he won't be tempted to drink, but the officers'regular visits to check up on Charlie have an unnerving effect on his teetotalist coworkers. A Larry Storch tour de force!
24. See You at the Bar Mitzvah
Air Date: 1963-03-03
When the boys find out that no one is going to the Bar Mitzvah of one boy on their basketball team because of his hated father, they spring into action.
25. I've Been Here Before
Air Date: 1963-03-10
A criminal gang bases its heists on the plots of the television program "Crimebusters," which program is also one of Officer Toody's favorite shows.
26. Joan Crawford Didn't Say No
Air Date: 1963-03-17
When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.
27. Lucille Is 40
Air Date: 1963-03-24
Lucille is upset over turning 40, so Gunther decides to surprise her by buying her a wig for a birthday gift, a deceptively simple endeavor fraught with misunderstanding and melodrama when nosy Sylvia Schnauser stumbles upon the scheme.
28. The Loves of Sylvia Schnauser
Air Date: 1963-03-31
Sylvia Schnauser helps the police dept. to set a trap for con artists posing as book publishers.
29. Puncher & Judy
Air Date: 1963-04-07
At the begging and pleading of a girl (Shari Lewis) at a local beauty parlor, Toody and Muldoon enlist the help of champion boxer, (Sugar Ray Robinson) in a scheme to discourage a local male hair dresser at the same parlor from continuing his amateur boxing career.
30. The Curse of the Snitkins
Air Date: 1963-04-14
A jinx arrives at the 53rd and continues his streak of bringing bad luck wherever he goes.
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Rating
7.5/10
Release Date
1961-09-17
Episodes
60 (2 seasons)
Status
Ended
Cast
Production Companies
Eupolis Productions
NBC