Chelmsford 123

Chelmsford, Britain in the year AD 123; there is a power struggle between Roman governor Aulus Paulinus and the British chieftain, Badvoc. Britain is a miserable place, cold and wet – just the place to exile Aulus for accidentally insulting the Emperor's horse, but also give him something useful to do. Aulus, probably a play on Aulus Platorius Nepos, the governor of Roman Britain between 122 and 125, was a rather delicate Roman, who was usually outwitted by the scheming Badvoc, who hadn't had a haircut for twenty-five years.

Comedy

Seasons

1. Arrivederci Roma

Air Date: 1988-03-09

Aulus is given the Governor's job as a suitable punishment for accidentally insulting the Holy Roman Emperors' girlfriend (a horse!). They arrive in England to a surprisingly warm welcome from the Brits but inadvertently upset them at the first night celebration.

2. What's Your Poison?

Air Date: 1988-03-16

Aulus tries to win over the Brits by doing an early morning walkabout and arranging a banquet. Grasientus buys poison from Wolfbane with a view to killing Badvoc. Aulus is dismayed when Grasientus is exposed as a poisoner... but then Badvoc and Aulus are found to be up to the same tricks.

3. The Girl of My Dreams

Air Date: 1988-03-23

Aulus is having troubled dreams and tries to have them interpreted. A tribe of female warriors demands a male sacrifice after their cheif's three daughters are de-flowered. The women lay seige to Aulus, Badvoc, Grasientus and Functio for over a month.

4. One for the Road

Air Date: 1988-03-30

Aulus pledges to build a Roman road from Chelmsford to London but the proposed route goes straight through a brothel that is being run by Badvoc and his men and being frequented by Functio. Blagg makes a career change from Shepherd to Masseur.

5. Vidi, Vici, Veni

Air Date: 1988-04-06

Badvoc is kidnapped by two Triconi. Aulus decides to 'protect' Gargamadua. Badvoc outwits the Triconi and talks them into sending a ransom demand of 100 bags of gold to Aulus.

6. Peeled Grapes and Pedicures

Air Date: 1988-04-13

Aulus decides to liven up Chelmsford with the Festival of Saturnalia. As part of the revelry, a fool is made king for a day - and so the Romans naturally choose Badvoc.

1. Heads You Lose

Air Date: 1990-01-09

Aulus is depressed because Badvoc always runs rings around him. He consults with a psychiatrist and confronts his anger. Badvoc is arrested and sentenced to death. Aulus eventually relents but Badvoc convinces him to go ahead with the sentence.

2. Get Well Soon

Air Date: 1990-01-16

A great heatwave hits Chelmsford, giving the Romans an opportunity for to top up their tans and Britons to die of thirst. It gets so bad that Badvoc has to cancel his annual bath.

3. Bird Trouble

Air Date: 1990-01-23

Badvoc attempts to relieve Aulus Paulinus of a priceless ring and use it to exact sexual favours, incurring the wrath of the governor's wife Marcella.

4. Odi et Amo

Air Date: 1990-01-30

Aulus' repulsive right-hand man Grasientus, winner of 'The Ugliest Git in the Empire', falls in love with a beautiful British girl. The problem is Aulus also desires her hand - and other bits as well...

5. The Secret War

Air Date: 1990-02-06

Things are quiet in Chelmsford. Too quiet. Aulus hasn't heard anything of Badvoc for weeks, which can only mean one of two things; either Aulus has gone deaf or Badvoc is up to something.

6. Mine's a Double

Air Date: 1990-02-13

Aulus' priceless statue of the heavenly twins is stolen by Badvoc. Confusion arises when he tries to get it back...

7. Something Beginning with "E"

Air Date: 1990-02-20

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Rating

7.0/10

Release Date

1988-03-09

Episodes

13 (2 seasons)

Status

Ended

Cast